eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
