Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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