My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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