East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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