I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
