just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
