He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
