If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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