She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
