How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
