you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
