you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
