you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
