so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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