oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
