I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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