So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
