so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
