dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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