I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
