Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The power of my boobs compel you
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
