we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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