I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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