Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
