Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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