No, drunk sperm still make babies.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
