Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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