Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
