Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
