I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
