sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
