I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize