the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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