he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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