her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
