This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
