Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
