I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
