I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
