Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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