so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Send help, water and tortillas.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
