Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
