yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
