I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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