i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
