so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
