Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
