and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I think I just sharted jello shots
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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