i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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