Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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