dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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