There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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