so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
