I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize