I just threw up on my dentist
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize