I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
