is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
