oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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