Walk of Shame. In a state park.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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