No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
