i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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