Christians are straight up FREAKS
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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