TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
