i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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