You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
