I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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